When I come home, my wife dies
by DestinyDreamer911
Summary: When Atsushi's assistant comes for a visit, he gets a little   surprise from Mrs.Otani. Based on the song "When I get home, my wife   pretends to be dead" By KAITO Crackfic.


**Hello every one! This my first Lovely complex fanfiction, so I hope you like it! I hope it wasn't to OOC. Really sorry if it was /''. **

**Summary:** When Atsushi's assistant comes for a visit, he gets a little  
>surprise from . Based on the song "When I get home, my wife<br>pretends to be dead" By KAITO Crackfic.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own the vocaloids, the song or Lovely complex.

"Geez, Otani, how long does it take to get to your house from here,"  
>Mayuko, Atsushi's assistant teacher, complained.<p>

"Will you shut up? We're here," Atsushi Otani growled and unbuckled  
>his seatbelt.<p>

"I can't wait to see Risa-chan" Mayuko started, staring dreamily at  
>the mention of Risa's name. "She's so nice and pretty," Mayuko said,<br>drooling a bit.

Atsushi growled and smacked Mayuko, "Don't say such disgusting things  
>about my wife." Atsushi yelled, shivering a bit a the word 'wife'.<br>"It's not disgusting, it's the truth," Mayuko protested, folding his  
>arms.<p>

Atsushi rolled his eyes, even though he'd never say it out loud, he had  
>to admit Risa was pretty cute.<p>

"Can you hurry up, I'm freezing out here," Mayuko whined, knocking  
>Atsushi out of his thoughts. "Oh, shut up, you whine worse than a<br>child," Atsushi snapped and stuck the key in the lock. "Oh, Risa-  
>chaaaan, I'm here," Mayuko squealed and rushed into the house. "Risa-<br>chan," Mayuko asked and flicked on the lights.

He soon regretted it, when he saw Risa. There was Risa on the carpet,  
>blood everywhere. There was a giant butcher knife lodged deep in her<br>skull. There was also a much smaller knife in her spine. Her finger in  
>the blood, and spelled out the word 'HELP!' Her eyes were still open,<br>and her pupils dilated. She looked like character in a horror movie.

"R-R-R-Risa-chan?" Mayuko squeaked.

Atsushi walked in and looked at Risa and sighed. "Two knifes, eh?  
>Looks like someone got a little creative," He said and stepped over<br>Risa's body. "Damn it Risa, you bled all over the carpet, how am I  
>supposed to get this junk up," Otani yelled.<p>

Mayuko stared like Atsushi grew a second head. "B-But Otani…you're  
>wife. S-S-She's dead," Mayuko managed to squeak out. Atsushi raised<br>in eyebrow.

"Geez Amazon, moved out of the way, I'm trying clean up this mess you  
>made," Atsushi started, kicking Risa in the side gently. "Hey Mayuko,<br>do me a favor and drag Risa to the corner so I can get this junk up"  
>Atsushi called from the closet, gathering some cleaning supplies.<p>

"But she's…she's" Mayuko chocked out. "Hurry up would 'cha, before  
>the blood stains the carpet," Atsushi yelled.<p>

"I'm sorry Risa-chan," Mayuko whimpered and dragged her lifeless body.  
>"Hopefully, this won't mess up the rug. I hate when she goes<br>overboard," Atsushi grumbled to himself.

His eyes slid over to Mayuko, who was pale as a ghost and eyes popping  
>out of his head. "What's wrong with you Mayuko? you look like you saw<br>ghost," Atsushi asked raising an eyebrow. "What's with me? What's wrong  
>with YOU," Mayuko screamed. "What do you mean," Atsushi asked, totally<br>lost about Mayuko was talking about.

"Are you stupid? You're wife is dead, and you're just sitting there  
>cleaning up," Mayuko screamed. "Shouldn't you call the police?"<p>

"What are you talking about, she isn't dead," Atsushi frowned.  
>"Although it would be a lot quieter around here if she was," He said<br>giggling a bit. "What," Mayuko screeched, grabbing Atsushi's collar.

"Fufufu," They heard a laugh and Mayuko looked behind him to see Risa  
>laughing in the corner. "Surprise," She squealed and jumped from the<br>corner. "Gya," Mayuko screamed as Risa ran toward him and squeezed  
>into a tight embrace. Poor Mayuko didn't know to be happy or<br>completely freaked out, since she was cover in blood. But before he  
>could decide, Atsushi grabbed both their shoulders and violently<br>ripped them apart.

"R-Risa-chan? What's going on," Mayuko said twitching slightly. "Allow  
>me to explain," Atsushi spoke up. "For some odd reason, my Amazon over<br>here likes to play dead every time I come home," Atsushi informed the  
>assistant. He turned to Risa, who was smiling and nodding her head.<p>

There was a long pause and eventually Mayuko decided he had enough for  
>one night. "Ahaha, well I think I'd get home know," Mayuko said and<br>slowly made his way to the door. "Wait! You said you would help me  
>grade papers," Atsushi called to the drive way. "I'm sure Risa-chan,<br>will help you, bye," Mayuko yelled and quickly sprinted to his house.

Atsushi sighed and closed the door. "I'm sorry Atsushi, are you mad,"  
>Risa asked, looking down. Atsushi sighed, "No, but you're help grade<br>these papers," "Okay."

Atsushi sighed, and looked at his watch. 11:29 PM. He sighed, and  
>looked over at Risa, who was finishing her stack of papers. "Hey<br>Amazon," Atsushi asked. Risa looked up and frowned. "Can I help you,  
>midget," Risa smirked. Atsushi frowned.<p>

"Why do you always play dead," He asked. Risa dropped her pen, "What,"  
>She asked shakily. "You heard me Amazon," Atsushi countered. "Why do<br>you always play dead when I come home," He repeated, loud enough for  
>Risa to hear.<p>

"Think back to when I first started doing that," She replied, and  
>wrote a 85 on the paper she was grading. Atsushi thought back, to<br>first time she played dead on him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

_It was around valentine's day, about a couple of months after they  
>were married and when Atsushi received a promotion to teach 6th grade<br>instead of 5th grade. He on his way back from work. He had conference  
>with the parents in all six of his classes and was more than ready for<br>a hot shower and his soft bed. He put his key in the lock and turned  
>it. He opened the door with a loud 'creeeakkk'. 'Koizumi must have gone<br>to bed, since the lights are off.' He thought and flicked on the  
>lights with a loud gasp. Risa was sprawled out on the floor with a<br>large ax in her head. Blood was all over the kitchen floor and written in  
>blood were the words 'Help meeeeeee!'<em>

_"Koizumi," He screamed and rushed to her side. She wasn't breathing,  
>which made his heart stop. He struggled to keep his cell phone in his<br>shaking hand. He tried to call for help but his mind fogged up. 'Damn  
>it, I forgot the number," His mind screamed. He screeched when a cold<br>hand grabbed his arm._

_"Otani," Risa breathed, "I…I..." she started. "Koizumi, what? What is  
>it," Atsushi screamed. "I…GOTCHA" she laughed and Atsushi just<br>stared. "KOIZUMI!"_

Atsushi chuckled at that unforgettable moment. "It was around when  
>I that promotion," Atsushi replied to Risa's earlier question. "Yep,"<br>Risa said sadly. "Ever since then, you've been coming home late and we  
>hardly see each other now. I get really lonely without you here. So I<br>figured you thought I was hurt, and then you would spend more time with  
>me," Risa said quietly, as tears silently rolled off her cheeks.<p>

Atsushi really didn't get Risa's logic, but he understood where she  
>was coming from. He had been working later hours and when was home he<br>was so stressed out and grouchy. He couldn't image how Risa felt about  
>this.<p>

"Idiot." He replied.

"Eh! How am I the idiot," Risa yelled. "Because Amazon, you should  
>have told me you felt that way, instead of running around playing dead<br>and scaring the living hell of people" Atsushi stated. Know that  
>Atsushi mentioned it, it did seem kind of nutty playing dead to get<br>her husband's attention.

"I'm sorry, Otani-sensei," Risa said quietly, and looked down in  
>shame. "Look, how about I call in from work tomorrow and we can spend<br>the day together," Atsushi smiled and Risa's eyes lit up. "Really,"  
>She squeaked. Atsushi nodded, "Yep, plus I think an Umibonzu concert is<br>coming up this weekend. Do you want to go," Atsushi asked, already  
>knowing the answer.<p>

"Yes," She squealed and gave her husband hug and a kiss.

"I love you, Atsushi" Risa smiled.

"Me too," Atsushi replied and gave a passionate kiss that the two  
>never wanted to end. <p>


End file.
